A little bit more serious of a post today, but I have really been struggling with anxiety this year and feel like I need to talk about it. I have spoke about it before but I need to get this out and you guys seem like the easiest to talk to right now. I know that I really need to go to the Dr and get some real help with it but the problem is I'm too anxious to do that! I know some of the things I come out with regarding my anxiety are absolutely ridiculous but I can't help these thoughts going through my head.
Generally my anxiety isn't too much of an issue during the day, night time is when I struggle most. During the winter months I really struggled with the dark nights to the point I wouldn't drive myself home from work after a 10 o' clock shift. It's not so bad at the moment due to the lighter nights.
Basically my anxiety mainly is around my fear of death. Even typing that is so hard. I avoid thinking about it as much as I possibly can and when faced with having to think about it I panic.
If anyone is having a conversation that has anything to do with death I have to walk away I just can't face it. Even if it's something on a tv programme I will change the channel.
It's not all about my fear of death, other things trigger it too. The phone ringing for example. That's right the phone ringing. If I don't know who is calling I will sometimes go to the extreme and hide from the phone like it's going to get me! Or if I don't know who is knocking at the door I will find somewhere I can see the door but they won't see me and stand as still and quiet as possible until they go away. I guess that's a fear of the unknown.
That would tie in with the fact if I'm going anywhere new I have to know exactly how to get there and what to expect once I am there.
I'm like a scared little child in my own home.
And the only place I feel safe when I am like this ... my bed. Not so helpful when I am out and about.
In some ways I should feel lucky, for all I have anxiety I have never experienced a full on panic attack.
I have had to get help with depression before and thankfully it's no longer a big issue for me and I know that now I need to deal with the anxiety and start living my life without being scared to do anything . I will deal with this and get over it one way or another. I won't let this control my life and stop me doing the things I want to do.
Have any of you experienced anxiety? Do you have any tips to help with it?
Julz xx
Julz xx
The best thing that you can do is go to the doctor, I know it is not easy but it will help in the long run. I also did private counselling and that was the biggest thing that helped me as they can give you ways of coping with your fears. I did all this a year or so ago and I still suffer but I am much better then I was. Ask for some help and you won't regret it :)
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